"My 100th birthday? I have given up hair dye after decades of peroxide and/or color, and now have thick, white hair cut into a short, manageable crop/bob. I am still 5'5 despite my age, and still have hippy hips and thick Polish/German thighs. I'm wearing something from maybe Coldwater Creek or the like -> hip clothing for the over 50's. I feel like I would love to eat the entire chocolate cake that sits flaming in front of me (100 candles!) but decide to share it with my remaining friends and family who are here with me.
My five cats are milling about, hoping for a crumb, as my cat box cleaner joins in a lovely chorus of "Happy Birthday". Oh, my cat box cleaner. He is paid $40 a day to come clean the cat boxes and fur balls while wearing a sexy, tight outfit that shows off his rippling, fit body. Ha! We are in my lovely house where I spend most weekdays, but I am forever going off to visit my international friends and colleagues in their native lands.
I am currently writing my 20th book, the 19th made so much money I had to write a book about writing it. Ha!
Looking back, I remember how I somehow managed to get through college and grad school despite my depression, and how I went on to become the youngest PhD to do some phenomenal thing. Probably having to do with cats or food. I ate lots of delicious organic produce (despite large loans that I was paying off until I was 75) and fresh organic skim milk. I was somehow able to cut out all the bullshit processed foods you are forced into buying as a poor student.
I've gone through 42 pairs of roller blades and three bicycles in the past 80 years. I spent a lot of time with my loving husband, who I met on a crazy expedition in some far off exotic land, as well as with my lovely chums and cats.
I nurtured my positive relationships and discontinued the leech ones that made me stressed and unhappy with myself. My whole life I have been an avid bowler and sky diver, as well as various arts and crafts such as knitting and painting. I once worked as an interpreter with an international dating service, where I met my best/oldest friend Hanz. I also recorded in-depth several urban cultures never before documented (please see my 4th #1 best seller in the anthro community).
I took up the challenge of learning not only 10 but 15 languages, as well as getting my foot in the door with prestigious laboratories and the White House.
Today I am keeping my mind active by taking physics and teaching at the local university. I rollerblade in the club I started, OPFORB - Old People For Roller Blading. I own an organic farm where I pay the farmers substantial amounts of money to provide me with yummy, clean food. I will probably get another cat/lover."
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| Here is a picture of me from around the time I wrote this. |
